extramarital affairs advice
advice after an affair - should you tell the kids?
My partner had an affair that went on for nearly a year. We have three daughters -- two in their teens and one younger. They know something is up but I haven't told them any details. Should we tell our kids?
Your children are no doubt aware that their parents have been experiencing emotional strain in their relationship. This stress could cause them to feel insecure and should be addressed. Telling them details about a marital affair, however, may bring your children into the heart of your marital discord, rather than keep them out of the middle of your conflict.
While you do not want to ignore reality or cause strain in the family by keeping secrets, it is not wise to involve them in your conflicts. It is possible that this could be treated as an issue of privacy, if your children are not aware or do not want to deal with this information at this time. Putting it in their faces, if they are not ready or cognizant could be detrimental.
If your children bring up the affair, you should certainly address it. However, be cautious that you protect your daughters from feeling that they must take sides in the marriage. They need both of you. Refrain from turning to them for comfort or support involving marital betrayal.
It is likely that at some point, if your children are aware of the affair, they will let you know. A comment about infidelity, coached in vague terms should be questioned rather than ignored. Talk with your partner about how this would be handled. If your spouse knows he (or she) made a critical mistake and can say so, it can help your children learn the consequences of undermining trust in a relationship. If you are able to reinforce the message by expressing the lesson learned in the relationship, such as...Your father (or mother) and I have not been dealing with our problems as we should, but we feel we are on the right track now, or It was wrong what your father (or mother) did, but we believe we are able to communicate better and are working on solving our problems without involving others romantically, they will discover that their parents are not perfect people but they are learning from their mistakes.
If the children do broach the subject, refrain from involving them in any details about the affair. Keep the discussion centered on how they are feeling. It is natural for children to feel betrayed and angry. Being able to express these feelings will help soothe them. They will also want to be reassured that they are loved, despite the betrayal. They will want to know you have dealt with the problem and are dealing with the consequences. Children are often relieved to hear that mom and dad are working things out with a marriage counselor. It makes it less likely that they will feel responsible for making things better in your marriage.
As teenagers, or young adult women, your daughters will be wondering about their own fate in future relationships. Do not shy away from discussing their feelings as they arise. They will need to understand what a healthy relationship is, what their needs are and how to best meet them. Discussion of the affair with respect to its impact on relationship may be an appropriate learning tool in the years ahead.
A marital affair strains your marriage. Children may experience this stress as a fracture in your relationship. Because your marriage is the foundation of your family, your daughters will likely feel some insecurity as a result. Look for signs of insecurity which may be expressed as irritability, a decreased ability to handle frustration (with homework, friendships or challenging situations) or a generalized increase in demands made of you.
Give your children extra support and attention through this trying period in the family, but realize, most importantly, that their equilibrium will be reinstated by the healing that occurs between you and your partner.
If the affair represents an ongoing pattern of coping, ask your partner to seek help. But do not stop there. Work on understanding the emotional meaning of the affair in your relationship and rebuilding trust in your marriage.
adapted from www.parentsplace.com
Looking for some extra marital fun tonight?
Are you looking for some extra marital fun with married people who are also looking for an extramarital affair? Since 2002, we have been helping to arrange a liaisons between married people looking for extramarital affairs. Find someone who wants an affair with a married man or woman. Married but looking for more?
Extramarital dating community
Our extramarital dating community offers extramarital personals for you to find married relations and extramarital sex. Do you want to read an extramarital story about a horny married woman in love with a married man? You will find that her husband is married and looking too. At Affairs Ltd you can find swingers, adulterers, philanderers, wives and husbands. Everyone wants to keep it private and discreet. So you can relax!Great for finding a bit on the side or a one night stand.
Want to have an extramarital Affair?
It's important to keep your private life private and that's exactly what we do. You can rest assured that all our users enjoy secrecy and don't want to divulge their affairs with others.
We have been providing a married dating service for nearly 20 years. Our community is really friendly. We are a very well established website and have thousands of users, many near you. It's confidential and very private, you only need an email address to get started. It's as simple as that. So you can soon be meeting sexual partners in towns near you or while you travel away from home.
Affairs Ltd Keeps It Confidential
It's important to keep your private life private and that's exactly what we do. You can rest assured that all our users enjoy secrecy and don't want to divulge their affairs with others. Use the adult dating app as an online chat room.
We have been bringing married lovers together since 2002. We have oodles of experience and can help you discreetly find adultery and love affairs online. You can meet your lover in secret and enjoy extramarital sex, safe in the knowledge that your lover wants to keep things as privare as you do.
Affairs Ltd - Bring Married Lovers Together Since 2002
Affairs Ltd has swinging couples who enjoy wife swapping. If you are a swinging amateur and want to join a swinging club, you can place your profile, add a photo and then you can find swinging partners online.
Affairs Ltd - The Married Experience
Affairs offers the complete dating package for all married people, be they swingers, doggers or looking for an extramarital affair. It's free to get started witht the option to upgrade to a VIP package later.