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Group Sex News | A Good Laugh

A Good Laugh

Jay Leno: You know, on this date in 1860, Abraham Lincoln was elected president of the United States. You know that? So let that be a lesson to Howard Dean. It is possible to become president while reaching out to those people with Confederate flags. So you see, you can do it.

Jay Leno: Howard Dean told a group of voters in Tallahassee, Florida, this week that Southerners need to quit basing their votes on race, guns, God and gays. That's what he said. Race, guns, God and gays sounds like the redneck version of 'Jeopardy,' doesn't it?

Jay Leno: And as you know, CBS has canceled its miniseries, 'The Reagans,' after complaints that it portrayed Ronald Reagan as nothing more than a bumbling B-list actor controlled by a domineering wife. Boy, what are the odds James Brolin would get a role like that?

Jay Leno: Russian scientists now say it's possible for a human to conceive and give birth to a child in outer space. And Gray Davis said today, 'Any child born in space will get a California driver's license.'

Jay Leno: According to a report by the Modern Language Association, more and more California students, more than ever, are studying a foreign language. The bad news, the foreign language is English.

Jay Leno: In a press conference yesterday, Mexico's president, Vincente Fox, mispronounced our new governor's name. Called him Arnold Schwartzen-burger. Arnold Schwartzen-burger. That was an insult to every single person who lives in Calee-forneea.

Jay Leno: You know these allegations about Arnold. 'Yeah, the groping. Yeah, remember the touching?' Well, Arnold announced he is hiring a private investigator to look into the allegations that he groped these women. He's hiring the private detective. You know Kobe's going, 'Why didn't I think of that?'

Jay Leno: In an interview with Barbara Walters, I think it aired tonight just an hour ago on 20/20, Martha Stewart says she doesn't know why people hate her. She said if a man had the same traits she had, he wouldn't be considered a bitch. You know, until he went to prison, yeah.

David Letterman: Did you hear the news former New York City Mayor Giuliani is thinking about running for governor. Did you hear about that? That's exciting. He's serious about this because he is already posing naked and having group sex.

David Letterman: How many of you remember former President Bill Clinton? You know, you know what has happened to him since went on a diet and he has lost 30 pounds. That's amazing, isn't it? He lost 30 pounds. So now his pants fall around his ankles when he is not having sex.

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