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Affairs Ltd - Married Dating Since 2002

Affairs Ltd is for adult swingers, doggers and people looking for an affair. We started finding married people sexual partners in 2002, so our club is very well established, with new people starting every day. Married people and singles are online right now looking for fun. It's free to get started.

Enjoying swinging House Parties and Dealing with Jealousy

Swingers Dealing with Jealousy

There are many different opinions about jealousy - several books devote considerable attention to the topic.

An interesting dynamic can sometimes arise in couples new to swinging, a dynamic which has inspired the community adage that the more enthusiastic member of a couple will get the couple into swinging, but the less enthusiastic partner will keep them there. As Carol Queen puts it in Exhibitionism for the Shy,

The swing community has noticed another prevalent dynamic in couples where one partner, more often than not the man, has more enthusiasm than the other. He has had terrific fantasies about freewheeling sex and plenty of it, and he finally convinces his initially reluctant partner to give swinging a try. When they get to the party, she has a great time and is high demand, while he thinks the party's a dud... Before you pack up your horny outfit and fistful of condoms, take some time to consider and negotiate how you will deal with the chagrin of the less popular partner if such a dismaying event happens to you.

In other words, some jealousy may spring from insecurity: if I'm worried that I'm not valuable enough to keep my primary partner's interest and love, or that fewer people will be interested in playing with me than with my primary partner, I may be more apt to get jealous. For the latter case, some of these fears may be alleviated by choosing, at least initially, to only swing together as a couple; this way neither partner can be left out.

Sometimes jealousy may spring from feelings of scarcity rather than feelings of insecurity: the fear is that there's only so much love and so much pleasure and so much intimacy to go around. With this in mind, I'd like to quote from the NASCA Guide to Swinging,

The Myth of the Scarcity of Love is the popular belief that 'love is scarce,' which encourages hoarding. Hoarding, in turn, created the very scarcity that was feared to begin with. The myth's premises are that each of us has a very limited amount of love to give, spend, or sell; that if this is divided among several people, each will get less; that love can be saved; and that in order to be valuable, true love must be exclusive.

If you enjoy good literature and want to explore this idea in more depth, take the time to read a short story by Amy Bloom entitled Love Is Not a Pie (published in her Come to Me: Stories collection). But just as food for thought for the time being, you might consider a question which Dr. Deborah Anapol poses in Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits: Imagine a culture in which your partner's attraction to another signified opportunities for greater pleasure and intimacy; would jealousy occur in this context? I honestly don't know the answer to this question, but for me swinging has been part of the inquiry.

To end this section on a more practical note, many couples find that the secrets to dealing with jealousy tend to revolve around good communication, keeping agreements, reassuring each other as to your love and commitment before and after playing with someone new, and listening to each other's emotional concerns and taking them seriously whenever they arise. If jealousy becomes an issue for you and your partner, you might try working on some or all of these things.

Affairs Ltd have been providing a married dating service for nearly 20 years. Our community is really friendly. We are a very well established website and have thousands of users, many near you. It's very confidential and very private, you only need an email address to get started. It's as simple as that. So you can soon be meeting sexual partners in towns near you or while you travel away from home. Our adult swinging app also has online swingers chat rooms.

Are you a swinger or are you new to swinging and need to find some swingers who will let you join them as a novice swinger? Are you a single male looking to get started swinging? Our swinger's hold swing parties and they will invite you to join them. At Affairs Ltd you can place your free swinger ads in our free swinger personals area. We will help you to meet swinger husbands and wives who are local to you. Are you looking for a mature swinger or a mature swinging couple? You can started started free of charge if you have a valid email address that you can answer when users get in touch. Couples and singles very welcome.

Affairs Ltd - The Married Experience

Affairs offers the complete dating package for all married people, be they swingers, doggers or looking for an extramarital affair. It's free to get started witht the option to upgrade to a VIP package later.

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